its not stalking. its research.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
