as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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