i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
