after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
