Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
