Acid is not a monday night drug
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
