I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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