i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
