I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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