Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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