Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
