Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize