i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
