piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
