He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
