Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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