Plan B is the new Plan A
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
