That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize