Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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