can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
