Sry I called you an 8
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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