and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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