So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
