Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize