Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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