just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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