i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
