the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
