R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want her autograph on my taint
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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