dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
