Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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