so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
