i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Someone signed my nipple.
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