We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
