You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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