Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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