OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
