dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
