This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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