Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
even my farts smell like vagina
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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