So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
