therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
