What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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