There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
