I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
