Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
