my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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