Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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