Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
