yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I had to cum in my sink.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
