let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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