just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
