Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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