Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize