is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
