A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
