Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
