You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So. Much. Porn.
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