dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
