While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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