Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i out mim tonsoeep
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