He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
