Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
