there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
