You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You ruined the universe
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
