it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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