All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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