found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
